She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
