All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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