You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Randomize
