I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
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