Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
