I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
