He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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