Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
My butt remains clenched, sir.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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