I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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