yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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