Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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