i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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