I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Randomize
