There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Randomize
