Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Randomize
