It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
