i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Blood and glitter go together right?
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
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