party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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