I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
