so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
