I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
