Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
