Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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