Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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