So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
