I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
