sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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