so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
