Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
