yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I can tuck mytits in my pants
i think i have herpe
just one?
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
