my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
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