What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Randomize
