so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
