I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Randomize
