So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Randomize
