69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
