NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
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