I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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