i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Randomize
