We're like a lot better than the average bears
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
