Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
