i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
PANTIES FOUND
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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