You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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