she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
