its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Randomize
