This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
