Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
