That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
So vagazzling was a success
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