I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
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