dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Randomize
