he puts the penis in happiness.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Randomize
