I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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